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CareRunner has enlisted a team of caregiving specialists to help each of you through your
individual challenges. Find them in the Expert Advice
section. There, you can:
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- Read posts on important topics
- Review answers to questions members have already asked
- Ask a question of your own
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If you do ask your own question, an appropriate topic specialist will be back to you with a helpful response and will post the
question and answer anonymously in order to help others.
As a regular feature of the newsletter, we’ll be providing you with expert advice
on common challenges. Below, Jessica, the general manager of a home health agency in
California shares her advice on handling the introduction of Home Care Aides to Loved
Ones.
What to Say when We Need to Say It
Jessica R.
It is a new year! With all of the hustle and bustle, you have a ton on your plate. If you
have aging parents or loved ones, you may have even more on your mind. If you saw your
aging loved ones over the holidays, you may have noticed a difference in their health or
capacities. Most families eventually have to deal with the complicated question: What do
I say to my parents when they need more help than I can provide?
Here are some important things to remember when discussing the option of home care with
your aging loved one:
Hiring a professional Home Care Aide does not mean your parents will lose their
independence. When your loved one hears you suggest that a
‘stranger’ assist them, there will likely be some resistance, especially if
they are only somewhat aware of their diminishing capabilities. Be slow, patient and
understanding. Explain that a Home Care Aide is an employee and is not there to take away
their independence, but will, in fact, enable your parents to be independent for much
longer. Your loved one will no longer need to rely so heavily on their spouse, family
members or friends for everyday needs, but will have an hired employee for those things.
Reinforce the notion of independence and control and include your loved one in the
interviewing and hiring of the Home Care Aide and in determining a schedule.
The best way to introduce care to your Loved One is slow and steady. The
idea of around the clock care and companionship can be overwhelming (even if this is what
they need). Instead, introduce the idea of someone coming over for a few hours, three or
four days a week. Slowly, as a bond and trust begins to grow with the Home Care Aide,
your loved one will begin to want their Aide around more. Home Care Aides are
professionals who are familiar with the many difficulties of aging. They will ‘step
up’ when they can and will assist your loved one with their personal care needs in
addition to providing companionship and household help.
Older folks don’t believe that it’s possible for them to remain in their
home for the rest of their lives. This is a common misconception that children
often don’t understand either. In the past, a “nursing home” was the
acceptable step for an elderly person with compromised health. Today, our loved ones have
the option of staying in the comfort and familiarity of their own homes. Home Care, on
several levels from basic care and companionship to “skilled” care such as
physical therapy, wound dressings, and medication management, is readily available and
can evolve as needed. Starting home care early can also help. If a Home Care Aide is
hired while the needs are minimal, parents will likely learn to appreciate, trust and
even like the help provided and develop a relationship that can ease the transition when
more care is needed.
Remember, you are in a very common situation. Home Care is a viable solution for your
parents and will enable them to remain in their home, under safe, familiar and secure
circumstances. To learn more about choosing the right Home Care for your loved one, check
out the resources in the Goods and Services
section at CareRunner.com.
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